is the battle to be yourself. ~unknown
Interesting magic happens when a relationship is perceived as SAFE; ‘he’s married, I’ll never see him again, he’s not my type’ – and thus we allow ourselves to SHOW UP…fully as ourselves, without the FEAR of judgement, abandonment or rejection. There’s a certain ease and flow. There’s REAL connection and authentic emotions without the worry of what he might think. Then suddenly, “Damn, I think I’m falling for this guy…I can be MYSELF with him…he accepts me just as I am!” When really it is us ALLOWING ourselves to BE and express who we are… because there’s no fear of loss as we haven’t cultivated that attachment. Perhaps it is US that we are falling for…
We begin to credit the other person with being our motivation and inspiration. We begin to feel like we NEED them. We think and say things like, “I love who I am when I’m with you” and “You make me want to be more” How about if we just leave it as “I love who I am… and I want to be more of who I really AM. I am inspired to step into a greater version of myself!” Oooo…feels good doesn’t it?
So how do we show up for ourselves that way when it’s someone we “care” more about; when we are attracted to the person and want more? Suddenly being ourselves seems “risky.” Instead, we often go into trying too hard…to impress, to look good, to prove ourselves. It all points back to self-worth issues. Once we really get that we are worthy and that even with our perceived faults, we are perfect and always, all ways, loved and lovable. When we realize our divinity and that we ARE complete, whole and perfect, which we can begin to embody through our thoughts and self-talk; talking to ourselves as if we ARE our beloved, holding ourselves, show up for ourselves with unconditional love and compassion. Then it can happen easily with another….the only person’s rejection and abandonment we have to fear is that of ourselves.
It’s magical when we ALLOW ourselves to show up with anyone, realizing that rejection is impossible! If he leaves it’s because HE is not ready to show up for himself yet and thus he feels threatened by you and scared of your light…as you are showing him his light….and what is possible…but he has not yet deemed himself worthy….
The greatest challenge truly is to BE ourselves…to have enough self-love to realize that we can never be rejected by another. All rejection is self rejection. What shows up outside ourselves is a gift to show us what’s inside ourselves…and what’s been holding us back from realizing the LOVE that we are.
OMG…does this mean that I can truly BE FREE?!
© Jeri Tourand, April 5, 2013