How to Speak to Your Kids so They Will Listen

Do your children LISTEN to you?

Do they respect what you say?

Do they harbor resentment toward you?

Do they argue with what you say?

It’s HOW you say it, more than WHAT you say that matters.

The secret is to speak from the HEART!!

“I thought I asked you to clean your room!  You are not going out to play until it’s done young lady!”

How effective is this form of communicating what you want?  I’ve tried it…many times…and their rooms are often still a mess days later!  Our children don’t like to be “ordered” to do something any more than we do!  They will resist as long as possible and it often even goes a step farther and they begin to resent you for your constant nattering and ordering them around! This is a very toxic cycle that you will want to do your best to avoid.

“I see that you didn’t get a chance to clean up your room yesterday.  Do you think you could the find some time to get it done before noon today?”

Better?  I’d be more likely to comply.  What do you think?  Doesn’t this one feel like the child has more control?  It almost “feels like” they have a choice as to whether or not to clean their room.  And perception….is everything!

So…Why aren’t your kids listening?

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BE the CHANGE… in our Schools, our Families, our Children…

Schools are a perfect reflection of society.

They mirror the dysfunction in families.  They mirror the dysfunction in Government, and in the the world.  Parents blame schools.  Teachers blame parents.  People blame government, government blames the people.   Bosses blame employees and employees blame the leadership.  And we WONDER why our children have become so irresponsible and disrespectful.  Children are not taking responsibility.  They are constantly pointing fingers at others or at the situation.  It’s never “their fault”, they have an excuse for everything, and nothing is ever good enough; they complain constantly.  Remind you of anyone??

What has happened, we cry,  to the “good old days”??  REALLY?  Is it really that difficult to figure out?

For one thing, the good old days were not so good – those days are what created TODAY’S dysfunction. That “goodness” is what has been passed on from our grandparents, to our parents, to us and now to our children:  The pain, the repression, the belief that we’re never good enough, strong enough, rich enough, smart enough, pretty enough.  They’ve passed on their inability to express emotions or at least the belief that we should not because it’s not appropriate; we hold them in to the point that all that’s left is hurt, which becomes anger, because strangely, anger is more acceptable to express than sorrow (caring! compassion!) and heaven forbid if we expose ourselves to the point of expressing our vulnerability….our love.

Our children are our mirrors.

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The Only 3 Powerful Questions Parents Need to Ask…EVER!

Being a parent is one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs.   Whether you consciously chose to bear children and take it on or whether you became an “accidental parent” – if you find yourself in the parenting role – you are meant to be there.   And, as you’ve probably already figured out….You’re in for a wild ride!

In times of despair and disappointment, parents often find themselves at a loss for what to do.  Making the “right” decisions  when it comes to their children is a primary concern for parents.   Through my parenting and teaching practice, I have found that there are 3 KEY QUESTIONS that can help to guide you as a parent, put your mind at ease or at the very least put things into perspective:


1.  What would LOVE  do now?

This is often the only question you ever really need.  I’ve mentioned it in previous posts and it’s worth mentioning over and over again.  At times when you have no idea what to do, in times when you just don’t feel right about something, or when you are looking for clarity or direction…  Stop and ask yourself:  What would LOVE do now?  And then simply allow the answer to find it’s way to you.  Be open and ready for anything.  The answer may surprise you.

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